It’s different now…
See that guy in the middle? That’s one of my best friends, Shane. About 15 or so hours ago, he left California on his way back to Hawaii to take the opportunity to become a Honolulu Police Department Officer. It has always been his dream and he was destined for this. He moved to California a year after I moved to Colorado after we graduated high school. It wasn’t until last year in September that I moved to California and move in with him with Jeremy. Nothing would have made me much happier than being able to live with my best friend. Back in high school, we never ever thought we would have become this close. But we did. I looked up to him.
24 hours ago I was finishing a video I put together for him and snuck it onto his iPad so he could view it on the plane, just to let him know that he has our support and that his Bay Area family will miss him. Within the past week or so, most of our friends have cried to him and with him, expressing their feelings and congratulations to him. Me? No. For me, it was never a goodbye. Just a “see you soon”. I’m going to see him soon you know? As the minutes were winding down to bring him to the airport, those feelings came…my best friend was leaving. My best friend is no longer going to be conveniently there for me to come to.
Distance is only an obstacle right, Shane? Our friendship is too strong to change in anyway. It’ll only become stronger. I miss you so much already. It feels different in this house. A strong and lively person is overseas. But changes happen for a reason. It’s only in the end you learn to accept the consequences, or learn to enjoy what happens afterwards.
How lucky I am, to have someone in my life that was so hard to say goodbye to.
∞ April 7th, 2011 at 2:49 am
“Leaving San Francisco is like saying good-bye to an old sweetheart. You want to linger as long as possible”
I promised I wasn’t going to make a tumblr post about but I have to. My best friend, Shane Libres (@shan3erz) is leaving back to Hawaii in less than a month. In less than a month I will have to make use of his presence here. In less than a month I have to make sure I get all the laughs out of him as much as I can. In less than a month I have to make him miss San Francisco a lot more. In less than a month I have to get used to the fact that one of my biggest supports is leaving me.
He’s pursuing his dream. He’s been waiting for this opportunity for a long time, to be accepted in the Honolulu Police Academy and work with troubled teens. It was always his calling, he was always a busy body and a helpful leader and coach. He was meant for this. When the letter came in the mail stating his next steps in this journey, he knew he had a decision to make. He has made a living for himself here in California, but we all know that opportunity doesn’t knock twice. When it knocks at your door, you answer it and let it in. He knows what he needs to do. I don’t want to be selfish and say I want him to stay, but don’t get me wrong, I do. Putting myself in his shoes, I will miss San Francisco just as much, the friends, the environment, the life here. Me personally, I don’t want to think about it. Throughout my experience moving away from home, I always thought about it as “I’m going on vacation, I’ll be back” and that’s exactly what I’m going to do now. My best friend is going on vacation, he will be back, I will see him again. I have Jeremy here, our other best friend, and he is as much support to me as Shane is.
These emotions make me second guess me staying here. What if I moved back home? I know I can be with family, be stable, get a good job there. But my dream was always here in San Francisco. “Give yourself a year, and then see”, I always tell myself. I can’t give up so easily, and I know Shane would agree with me. I can get through this. I can’t give up so easily, Shane hasn’t.
That’s the hardest thing about making decisions, making a choice. It’s never 100% on either sides. It’s always 50/50. When you make that choice, do your hardest to make that 50% into a 100%. Prove to yourself that you made the right decision, and don’t look back. It’s going to be hard without him.
“Saying goodbye doesn’t mean anything. It’s the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.”
5 notes ∞ March 8th, 2011 at 6:36 pm